Non-Jews are for practice
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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