Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize