she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
