just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
