Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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