she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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