Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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