Dual....:-)
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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