How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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