She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
