what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
