WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
