She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
