I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
