Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
