i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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