4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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