I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
