I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
