The brown eye won't let me do that either.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
