Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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