went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
