So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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