I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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