Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
