How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
