Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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