Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
