is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
