Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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