so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
