Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.

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(480): I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i. http://tfl.nu/z1bk

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(661): View more from California

i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.

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(661): i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally. http://tfl.nu/2rgg

Replies (12) Good night (2615) Bad night (912)
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(970): View more from Colorado

You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by

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(970): You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by http://tfl.nu/7cd3

Replies (13) Good night (4032) Bad night (996)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back

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(+44): I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back http://tfl.nu/kyt1

Replies (181) Good night (21638) Bad night (1065)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.

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(201): Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them. http://tfl.nu/ciek

Replies (20) Good night (3117) Bad night (962)
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(107): View more from

That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.

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(107): That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog. http://tfl.nu/02iq

Replies (8) Good night (1269) Bad night (970)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...

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(336): Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text... http://tfl.nu/pmgt

Replies (5) Good night (1889) Bad night (472)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.

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(803): Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now. http://tfl.nu/z1h4

Replies (2) Good night (772) Bad night (502)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.

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(208): Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/nw7i

Replies (10) Good night (935) Bad night (391)
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(775): View more from Nevada

By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face

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(775): By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face http://tfl.nu/uzn2

Replies (4) Good night (705) Bad night (302)
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(240): View more from Maryland

Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you

(1-240): View more from Maryland

Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina

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(240): Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you (1-240): Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina http://tfl.nu/ytzu

Replies (8) Good night (1818) Bad night (462)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face

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(617): For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face http://tfl.nu/7t4e

Replies (5) Good night (398) Bad night (781)
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(630): View more from Illinois

sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life

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(630): sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life http://tfl.nu/q2m2

Replies (4) Good night (237) Bad night (605)
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(341): View more from California

I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.

(341): View more from California

But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade

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(341): I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room. (341): But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade http://tfl.nu/5zu3

Replies (13) Good night (791) Bad night (503)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.

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(412): I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA. http://tfl.nu/jgm4

Replies (2) Good night (647) Bad night (292)

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