then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
I dont know to explain this.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit