I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get