Texts From Last Night

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  (647): View more from Ontario

  she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf

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  (647): she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf http://tfl.nu/59j2
  Replies (10) Good night (861) Bad night (1087)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.

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  (509): This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes. http://tfl.nu/scwa
  Replies (31) Good night (553) Bad night (2902)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket

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  (601): she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket http://tfl.nu/j6rw
  Replies (8) Good night (3689) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood

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  (647): We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood http://tfl.nu/ffyp
  Replies (36) Good night (982) Bad night (6144)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze

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  (224): Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze http://tfl.nu/j7ix
  Replies (14) Good night (5294) Bad night (1136)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper

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  (720): me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling (303): Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper http://tfl.nu/d912
  Replies (3) Good night (2305) Bad night (999)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.

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  (614): They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor. http://tfl.nu/swbu
  Replies (24) Good night (1418) Bad night (3582)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.

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  (212): She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess. http://tfl.nu/ade3
  Replies (10) Good night (1430) Bad night (844)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.

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  (240): Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone. http://tfl.nu/49no
  Replies (7) Good night (439) Bad night (970)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?

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  (917): it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome (1-917): second-hand sex is fun, isn't it? http://tfl.nu/9p74
  Replies (16) Good night (1708) Bad night (664)
• Favorite

  (276): View more from Virginia

  Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish

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  (276): Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish http://tfl.nu/p7ll
  Replies (2) Good night (430) Bad night (678)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.

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  (843): If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala. http://tfl.nu/anbg
  Replies (0) Good night (769) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.

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  (508): Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life. http://tfl.nu/dd0r
  Replies (3) Good night (648) Bad night (272)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.

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  (619): Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way. http://tfl.nu/mas5
  Replies (0) Good night (465) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far

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  (931): Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far http://tfl.nu/db1u
  Replies (8) Good night (280) Bad night (596)

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