Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
