I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize