problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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