I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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