Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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