oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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