Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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