my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
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I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
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The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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