i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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