hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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