My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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