i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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