whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.