You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.