the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so