And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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