he thought i was a dude.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize