i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
