hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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