they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
