I CAN MOONWALK!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize