Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize