ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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