Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
