and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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