I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
