I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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