im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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