i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
