home. puking in laundry basket.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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