I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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