too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
